A How-To Guide On Transitioning Into Adulthood

Hey friends!

So, as we grow closer to the end of this year and to the beginning of the next decade (!!!) I wanted to do a little round up my year, since it’s been a crazy one, and share with you all my advice that I’ve learned from it.

While I am on holiday right now, it felt better to save the travel posts for a little later on and rather have a post that wrapped up this year before it ended. This year has been one of the craziest rollercoasters of my life — I’ve gone through so many changes (both positive and negative) that it honestly feels like I’ve packed three years in one.

At the beginning of this year, I was still in university full-time, living in my on campus apartment, an active (non-alumna) member in my sorority, and fully adjusted to university life. Then, April came, and my whole life was upturned — I had to move out of my apartment to a temporary summer residence before moving into my new place downtown, began working full-time, and started my life from scratch.

I feel like I’m heading down the right path, sure, but no one ever tells you really how strange the months following university are; when I finally opened up about it to others, however, I learned we’re all in the same boat. It’s stressful and scary, you feel lonely and alienated from your university friends, unsure if you’re in the right career or ever going to be successful, and it feels like you’re going to be stuck in the premature ages of adulthood forever.

Slowly, you adjust though — I’ve found comfort in blogging, which I think I’m finally starting to get the hang of. I have my close friends and a semblance of a routine (hard to maintain, however, when you’re working in a restaurant without set hours). I know I’m on the right track now, and I’m looking forward to the fresh start of a new year and a new decade to help realize the next part of my life and where I’m headed — and finally getting settled and even finding success.

So, basically, the point of this whole rant is that I’m ready to wrap this year up and kiss it goodbye — it’s been an important time full of monumental changes, but I won’t miss it. While I’ve made good choices and silly mistakes, at least I can guide you all (for now!) on the right path and make all of your transitions into adulthood just that much easier.

Remember To Keep Moving Forward

Everyone always talks about how you need to “appreciate these years, they’re the best time of your lives.” And okay, maybe this ends up being true, but this mentality leads so many people to get stuck in the past, when you never know what amazing things could be just around the corner!

At every stage in my life, I’ve seen so many people get caught up in the past, whether it be High School or University, that they can’t let go — and it really does suck to watch. Transitions can be scary, but the best thing to do is embrace them, or else you may miss out on opportunities that are right in front of you because you’re too busy thinking about what’s behind you. Keep your memories and treasure them forever, but remember that it’s never fun being the last one at the party, and it’s best to let go when it’s the right time as to not tarnish what you had by drawing it out to the point that it’s just not the same anymore. Just because people say these years are meant to be the best time of your life doesn’t mean you need to peak at them — keep going forward, and you’ll have amazing times ahead of you as well.

Keep A Close Circle Of Friends

Something I’ve come to realize recently is that while it is great to have a huge amount of friends and a large social circle, your close friends are really all that matters. Knowing all kinds of people wherever you go is fun and rewarding in the moment, and certainly has some benefits — but your real friends are the ones who’ll be there for you during the tough times and difficult transitions. It’s important to know who these people are, and keep them close. You guys are all going to need each other for mutual support during your transition into adulthood — its a rough time, but you’ll all make it easier for each other.

Work On Self-Improvement And Validate Yourself

The best way to set yourself up for success for the next period of your life is to ensure you’re always improving yourself. Just make sure you’re doing it for YOU, and not for validation from others. If you’re working out, eating healthy, focussing on how to present yourself in a way that makes you feel good and being happy, your own confidence will grow — and people will notice. People are drawn to confidence — it will make you more successful in every single aspect of your life in the long term (and there’s no better time to start than right now). So keep up with your skincare routines, hit the gym regularly, practice your makeup, curate a stylish clothing collection — whatever it takes to make you feel good! It doesn’t matter what other people think of it, because all they’re going to notice is how confident you are.

Keep A Balanced Schedule

This one can be a little challenging, I know — I’m still working on it too. But the best way to truly feel like an adult and that you have your life in order is to keep track of your schedule. Not only will this help guarantee you’re on top of all your tasks — but it helps you make time for other important things as well. For instance, it’ll help you keep on track with important aspects outside of deadlines and goals — such as exercising, cooking, and cleaning. Even more importantly, it’ll help you make time for yourself and your friends. If you budget your time, you’ll have more time available to socialize or keep up with your hobbies — or even find new ones! No matter what, keeping track of your schedule is beneficial in all kinds of ways.

I hope that this list is helpful to those who are finding themselves struggling or overwhelmed by a transitioning period in their times, or who are about to go through a transition and are already nervous about it. Just remember you’re not alone — even if it feels like it, you still have a support system and everyone around you, no matter how together they seem to have it, is going through the same thing.

Here’s to a stellar 2020, hopefully the new year treats all of us well! Before I go, I just wanted to remind you all to try to leave whatever baggage from the 2010’s you can in the past in the new year. Obviously, dropping all your past traumas isn’t easy, and some things are just too big and heavy to be put down simply. Take this time to reflect and reexamine your feelings about events from the past. I saw a quote recently that said “Just because things could’ve been different, doesn’t mean they would have been better.” This quote really struck me, because I think I personally spend a lot more time than I should dwelling on things in the past that didn’t go my way, and how much happier I would have been if they did.

The truth is, we’ll never know what would have happened if those things came to be. Would things have been better? Maybe. Would it really have had a huge impact in the long run though? What would have happened if say, things went your way initially but ended up worse after all? The truth is you’ll never know, but overall things really may have not been that different. Whether it was failing a class (or multiple), losing an award, a bitter break up, not even getting into a relationship you wanted, losing a job, whatever happened or didn’t happen, try your best to take the lessons you learned from it and leave the rest of it in the past. It can’t be changed, so there’s no point dwelling on it to the point you miss out on opportunities in the future. Everyone has suffered through their own personal rejections and failures — I for one am certainly no stranger to it. But 2020 is a new decade, and it’s going to be our time to shine! So don’t let what happened in the past hold you back in the present. It’s time to move on and make the best with what we have. (And for those of us who can’t, who’s problems are a little more challenging to unpack and live with — I hope 2020 brings everything you need to make the load a little lighter to carry.)

Peace out 2019,

Xo,

Meredith